The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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