i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
