so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
