something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
