Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
