they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
