OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
