he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
