So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
