idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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