He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
