Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
