I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
