I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
