Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
