I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
