well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
