Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
