This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
