News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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