as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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