i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
