Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
