He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
