"it" just moved
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
