she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
