If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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