just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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