you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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