It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
