420 ftw
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
