Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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