We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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