8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
