I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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