I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
