I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
