big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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