I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
