last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
