dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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