i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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