it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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