He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
3 2 1 whiskey
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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