Fuck appropriateness.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
