She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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