I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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