So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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