im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
