I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
