I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
