you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
id be glad to
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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