People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
