I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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